Seagull
£25.00
A lot of lies about the mythical seagull, from the ‘Lies About Birds’ series. (Scroll down to read the text.) Illustrated with a poor photograph of a paper bird I have made out of old RSPB magazines.
A4 print, mounted (and put in a cellophane bag to prevent escapes).
(Please note that, regretfully, I don’t send work outside of the UK.)
“Sorry to be the one to break it to you but there is no such thing as a seagull. The term ‘seagull’ is used by Herring Gulls, Great Black Backed Gulls, Lesser Black Backed Gulls and especially Black Headed Gulls to point the finger of blame away from themselves: “It was a seagull what did it.” It is ‘seagulls’ that exploit, abuse and make fun of humans. They steal chips, poo on cars and wake slumbering holidaymakers by bashing shellfish to death on the B&B roof. They live on rubbish tips. They follow farmers in tractors and shout rude names. They hang around town centres pulling rubbish out of the bins and stamping on it. The other gulls – the Herrings, the Black Backed and the Black Headed – obviously do none of these things. They live blameless, charmingly simple lives on the coast selflessly helping out fishermen and sailors, and are potato-intolerant. Blaming a ‘seagull’ is a strategy that has worked for them for at least 100 years. The mythical seagull is here to stay.”
