Restructured Book. Observed Birds: Buzzard

“Historically, the British have had an issue with size.  Wild things that are smaller than a human thumb (insects) have had a hard time, and things that are larger than an outstretched arm (bears, wolves, foxes, badgers, and any number of birds) have had it even harder. The ideal size of things for the British seems to be something you can fit comfortably in one hand, such as a biscuit, or support between two hands, such as a cup of tea. A buzzard, therefore, is too big. After many hundreds of years of persecution, the buzzard has worked out that people can’t tell if something is small or a long way away so they spend a lot of time soaring high up on warm air currents.

Buzzards also sit. They stay very still on a perch such as a fence-post until some unsuspecting small mammal wanders by at which point the buzzard will fall of its perch and crush its prey to death. This ‘sitting about’ habit of buzzards is another reason why they have been treated with suspicion. The British have always been very keen on a strong work ethic but buzzards have no shame about being seen to be doing very little indeed. Things might have gone better for buzzards in the past if they had at least tried to look busy, or carried a clipboard.”